Overthink to Help Your Health
For many people pleasers, the fear of disappointing others can make boundary-setting feel impossible. However, learning to set and maintain boundaries is crucial for your well-being.
First thing you need to know – it’s possible and you have the potential to set boundaries. Time to back yourself with this one!
Here’s how we’re going to do it 👇
Boundaries are limits you set to protect your time, energy, and well-being. They help you define what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour from others. Healthy boundaries allow you to prioritise your needs while maintaining respectful relationships.
I’ve got the game-changing thought for you right here – this will remedy the guilt you feel!
You’re allowing one thing, and as a consequence, you’re denying something else….
Bottom line – What is that cost, and are you willing to pay it?
When you sacrifice your resources (time, energy, thoughts, money etc.), where are you now unable to use those resources?
So although it might look like you’re being caring and thoughtful, what are you rejecting instead?
Want answers now? Let’s chat!
This is what you can do about it: 🔥
Before any of these steps can actually work though.
It’s crucial that you recognise and truly believe that you deserve this and you have a right to put yourself first.
It might not always come up as confrontation, it may be any type of fork in the road, and when it comes along, you have to back yourself that you will pick the road the protects and honour your needs to succeed.
If you don’t…..who else will?!
These are the actions you’re going to take:
• Start Small: Begin by setting boundaries in less significant areas that don’t scare you as much. Build your confidence and evidence that you’re capable to putting yourself first.
• Be Consistent: Enforce your limits regularly to ensure they are respected.
• Stay Firm: People may test your boundaries. Keep reminding yourself what the cost is of each decision and decide which option is genuinelymore valuable.
• Use Positive Language: You don’t have to be a dick about it. Frame your boundaries kindely. Instead of saying, “I can’t help you,” try, “I can help you with this after, but first I’d like to …..”
• Plan Your Response: Anticipate that there might be push back. And the ultimate thing to say, “I’m sorry, it’s just not important to me right now.” You can use this in the extreme cases if the initial ‘boundary setting’ wasn’t well received.
But we haven’t talked about the guilt yet!!
Keep reading.
Want your health to feel less confusing?
There’s a guide for this!
This is why you’re feeling guilty.
When guilt shows up, it’s a sign that you feel as though you’re at fault for something that you care about.
To separate yourself from that guilt, it’s about reframing how you perceive the event.
In this context of setting boundaries, you’re likely going to interpret a person’s disappointment as your fault.
And this is the deciding factor – you can’t take responsibility for how someone else interprets a situation. You can’t take responsibility for their reality and their feelings.
When you’re able to disconnect emotionally from their reaction, the guilt will only be present when you’re genuinely at fault, instead of interpreted fault.
This distinction is crucial to keep you emotionally safe and confident to enforce your boundaries long-term!
This skill isn’t impossible, and you don’t have to wait for it either!
If you’re ready to take control of your boundaries and have confidence that they’re going to work for you, click below and book in for your first session to build these boundaries.
"If not you, who? If not now, when?"
– Hillel the Elder
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It’s your time to live without limit.