The Importance of Saying ‘No’
For many people pleasers, saying “no” feels almost impossible.
There’s always a ‘better’ option, and the fear of disappointing others or causing conflict can lead to overcommitting and neglecting your own needs.
Learning to say “no” is a superpower to maintain your well-being when you need it most.
Keep reading and I’ll help you overcome the fear of saying “no” and set healthy boundaries for yourself.
t’s likely that this all stems from a desire to be liked and accepted. You might worry that refusing a request will lead to rejection or negative judgment. This fear can be deeply rooted in past experiences or ingrained beliefs about self-worth.
While it might seem easier to say “yes” to avoid conflict, constantly agreeing to others’ requests can have some serious long-term consequences:
• Burnout
• Resentment
• Negative Self-Talk
• Neglect of Personal Goals
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So let’s break this down and shift this behaviour!!
> Recognise Your Right to Say “No”
The world will keep spinning – regardless of your response!
Your guilt is self-inflicted, and most of the time (if you’re honest and kind about it), when you say no, the other person is very understanding. Your time and energy are valuable, and it’s essential to protect them.
> Practice Self-Awareness
Pay attention to your feelings and needs. If a request makes you uncomfortable or stressed, this is the signal that you should consider saying “no.”
> Start with Small Nos
Begin by saying “no” to small, less significant requests. This will help you build confidence, self-belief and practice setting boundaries.
> Lead with Values
You don’t have to be aggressive when you’re protecting yourself.
Sure, it’s important to be clear and direct, but you don’t have to hurt anyone in the process. Saying things like “I feel…”, “From my experience…”, “I need…” “It’s important to me…” – then there’s no need for you to apologise for your feelings!
> Offer Alternatives
If you feel uncomfortable saying “no” outright, suggest an alternative. For example, “I can’t help with this, but I can assist with something else.”
> Take a breath
Sometimes these interactions can happen so fast that it’s hard to be strong (especially if you’re still learning). Take a big exhale and remind yourself what’s important to you, what you want for yourself and what you’re willing to do to get it.
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Overcoming the fear of saying “no” is a significant step for people pleasers – but when you do, your wellbeing is back in your hands!!
If you’re ready to take control of your health and learn more about setting healthy boundaries, let’s dive right in and have a Spark session.
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